16 Germinal CCXVII

This Saturday I went to a Tigerfest. We played The Village and as I slept, my closed eyes let me see the things in the dark and I could concentrate on the speaker’s voice saying

“Hunter, wake up! Child, wake up! Witch, wake up! Wolf, wake up!”

And they clapped and slapped and I got lost again in the rhythm and didn’t want to believe her hands weren’t trying to tell me something. And then today I saw the trees and it brought it back in a way that isn’t happy. It hurts.

And then again I felt her back and went to her and went back to her, and I was wet with rain and they both hugged me, one with wind and she was so warm, so we slept. I was calm then and closed my eyes.

When I say squirrels don’t care I mean it. These are all experiences and I taste the faith. I’d rather do this than not, still.

“My stomach is telling me everything I already know about my life.”

11 Prairial CCXVI

It only just struck me within the last few hours that I intend to read Germinal by Zola in the month of Prairial. I don’t know how I feel about that. Missed opportunities and a life. On better news, I find myself accomodating very nicely to nomadism, as I am now on my third week of homelessness, calling only a friend’s futon my nightly respite. I like themes, so I developed an interest in Isabelle Eberhardt, long overdue.

I’m now sitting on the futon thinking about Shaykh al-’Akbar and listening to Electrelane, facing a cat and downloading some Rob Zombie. Before this, I was watching An Introduction to Scientology, L. Ron Hubbard’s only, badly-colored filmed interview. Favorite quote:

“I have studied 21 primitive races. Including the White race.”

Oh, Lafayette. I’m hungry, and very much at ease. I’ve been upping my reading, as I’m preparing for what will most likely turn into my beginning the “admission” process into Ismailism. On the subject, I found a good blog recently which led me to Qiyamat Now!, an anthology of a zine by the same name and another titled From Alamut, both shamelessly syncretist and mixing Orthodox Moorish Science, Akbari Sufism, Gnosticism, Buddhism of various persuasions, all talking about the `Iid al-Qiyamat and Nizari Ismailism in general. I’m reconciling my Zen and Sufi inclinations, slowly. After all, If Imam `Ali isn’t the 10th Avatar after Sri Buddh, then who is?